My little sister got married yesterday, back home in Nigeria. I wasn’t there unfortunately, that would have been extremely complicated. More unusual, for us in the West at least, the groom wasn’t there either; the traditional wedding was conducted in absentia while he was three thousand miles away in London. Yesterday was the culmination of several months of planning starting with the Introduction Meeting between the two families to check each other out. Chibuzor is an expensive young woman with an almost royal bride price. A while ago the groom sent money to the elder men in his family, to pay to the bride’s mother, who has longed for this day. She has waited her turn to be amongst the women of the village, who share out the bounty of a bride price and wondered if the day would ever come, while her high flying daughter pursued a career in law.
And so they came, they were approved of, my sister and her husband to be breathed a sigh of relief while her mother, Felicia, received the cash to go shopping, no mean feat when the list looks something like this.
Bride price list
Cake in the shape of a palm wine pot
2 wrappers for Felicia – lace
3 blouses – Holland
2 head ties
Sandals, slippers, wristwatch, necklace (gold plated)
20kg sacks of salt,
2 x 40kg bags of rice (cost £40)
Beverages – Milo, milk, tea, cocoa,
Beauty products, skin creams, cosmetics etc
20 litres of kerosene – I for Felicia, 1 to share with the village
Palm oil and other vegetable oil (groundnut)
Stockfish
Sugar
Detergent/soap 50 bars
42 yams, some to share
Kola nuts
Alcohol for the men – gallons of palm wine, beer, Mackeson
Minerals, Fanta, coke etc
Felicia would be very happy despite the hard work and her women friends would have helped her go to market so that by yesterday a feast could take place.
The next stage of affairs will be either a court ceremony and/or a church ceremony which may even take place in London. I know they have a wonderful future ahead of them and I wish them all the love and happiness they deserve!
Lucid Gypsy 
What a fascinating post! Can’t wait to see some pictures & hear about the next stage!
Very interesting! I’m struck by the way an Igbo marriage apparently draws in the neighbors by distributing gifts to them.
I love hearing about different customs and traditions. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Lovely post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
May the happy couple’s marriage be the beginning of a fairy tale ending.
Keep us all posted, and I am sorry you missed the wedding.
Did they now each other in advance? Or was this an arranged match? I understand from a friend who is Nigerian that all the sisters at her sibling’s wedding had dresses made from the same material but in styles they chose themselves. Will you at least get the dress?
No it wasn’t arranged, they are very much in love!
So can you explain more of the instruction service?
Live happens in arranged marriages too!
The introduction of families bit?
yep, that’s the one!
Thanks for sharing this. I always love learning about different cultures. I wish the happy couple much happiness in the future.
Such an interesting post. I know you were not there, but I hope you will be able to put a photograph up! Best wishes to your sister and her husband.
fascinating … i was wishing for a photo … but perhaps in time to come 🙂
Very interesting, Gilly! I do love to hear about other countries’ cultures and ways of doing things.
Your writing piece was lovely. I hope we hear more, or see photos! Thanks for a good post!
Thanks for your good wishes everyone, I will pass them on and hope eventually to have photos!
Congratulations to your sister. You know I got married in Nigeria too? I’m guessing you do.
Of course! I must pop over and check but I think I also remember your photos 🙂
I’ve just watched your video on youtube, sister you got the moves!
Love your head tie, your dress, everything – it’s all so vibrant and loving 🙂
Thanks, Gilly! I suffered from the heat, but it was a great day. Pity we couldn’t afford any of my family to travel with me, but that’s life when you take on a government! 😆
Wow, interesting post! Sorry you missed the wedding though….I ‘m curious to see some photo’s…maybe later??
What happened to the goats and cows? My dowry was double this… I know; even I was shocked when my family demanded a dowry from my American husband. 😆
Nice post!