So who has heard of threading?

Apparently it originated in the Indian sub-continent. Picture this: – Five women in a hotel room in Ankara, strangers just five days earlier. One American, one Indian, one Australian, one English-Nigerian and one Pakistani; two are sharing the room, the others are invited.

‘I’m going to deal with India’s whiskers’ says Pakistan.

‘You’re what???’

‘I’m going to thread her.’

‘What on earth?’

‘Come and see, I did Australia last night’

‘Yes look at me it’s amazing, let’s get some wine, you can watch her’

‘I’ll do you too’

‘Sounds painful, America, shall we go and watch?’

India lies on the bed; Pakistan takes two feet of white cotton, ties a knot to make a circle, a few deft movements and aims it at India’s top lip. They watch amazed as a mass of black hair is whisked away leaving a totally smooth finish. The process took just a few minutes.

‘Didn’t that hurt?’

‘No, I had it done before I came on holiday, it just pulls a little, no problem’

‘Where do you get this done? Pakistan are you a beauty therapist?’

‘No we learn from our mothers at home.’

‘You talk about it? How embarrassing.’

‘Why? It’s part of life, especially once you’re a certain age.’

Before she knew it America is on the bed lying on her side.

‘Owwww’, a squeal like murder, hope the room is sound proof.

‘Get her ice quick’

‘Ice, where from?’

‘The mini bar, quick a beer can, throw it here’ hisssss, it hits something hard on its journey across the room oozing brown lager bubbles onto the pristine five star bed linen.

‘Ow ow ow’ another half dozen whiskers hit the knots.

‘Uh . . . no need to worry about me, I immacced before I left home, I won’t have any long enough for you to grab.’

‘Bet you have, I’ll find some.’

‘Uh no, but I’d really like to learn how to do that, is it difficult?’

‘Just takes practise, here try it on your own legs.’ England-Nigeria takes a piece of thread and tries it on her hairless calves, nothing happens.

‘Here try it on America’s leg, she has plenty’

‘Ow ow ow aghhhh, noooo I need them to keep warm’

‘Oh how can I learn? This would be so useful, it can’t hurt that much’

‘Your turn now, over here, no you have to lie down I can’t reach you’

‘It’s too dark isn’t it? How can you see what you’re doing?’

‘Aha no problem, you have many, many fine hairs, it will take much longer on you, and you thought you didn’t need it, wouldn’t you rather be nice and smooth?’

‘Yes but…’

‘America, drink the wine it will stop the pain, now England-Nigeria you’re used to plucking your eyebrows so it won’t hurt, another beer can please!’

‘Put your tongue under your cheek to make your face stretch out’

‘This is crazy I never . . .’

‘Shush, you need to keep still stop giggling’

‘Ah’, England-Nigeria drew her breath quickly.

‘Watch America, you need to learn how to do it for me’. Four pairs of eyes looked down as a dozen hairs at a time were lifted from her skin. ‘Can you do this with bikini lines too?’ Five continents collided in a giggling heap.