This weeks 100 word challenge over at Julia’s http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-35/
is ‘The Red box’ and this is my take on it!
Red Box Versus Tree
It wasn’t exactly a bang, more a low clunk like an Ikea drawer closing.
‘You’re going to die’ he mocked the older sister he was so jealous of, ‘Just wait ‘til . . .’
‘Shut up, I’ll just have to pay’.
‘Yeah, for about seven years, that’s how long he waited for it’.
She couldn’t settle, Luke kept smirking at her. She checked the window every five minutes, eventually the Jack Russell yapped as it chased through the gate. She went outside.
‘Dad . . .’ she sobbed.
‘I saw, don’t cry angel it’s just a red box on wheels’.
Lucid Gypsy 
Oh my goodness – daddy’s girl eh!! Great – I like the idea of that particular red box!
Nice dad…
Hahaha! Creative!
Good thing Dad was so understanding. If that had been my kid, she would be paying for the damage done… either that, or getting a ‘debt paid’ card for Christmas, instead of a gift. I was tough on my youngins’.
and I bet that didn’t do any harm!
My kids turned out to be pretty responsible young men. Being strict, and expecting them to pay for their own mistakes has evidently paid off.
Good story, Gilly! Nice dad! And nice “red box” ;).
Great story!
Love the dad’s perspective.
Very nice, Gilly. I wish I could say that much in so
few words. Good job.
I really thought this was going somewhere else, somewhere much more ominous. Nicely fooled me. Enjoyed the twist.
My favourite line is : more a low clunk like an Ikea drawer closing. I know exactly what that sounds like. Great description.
Nice car! You had me going and your Dad – wow
that is how a Dad should be.
funny story…
When my daughter was 9 I had parked my car in the main street just outside the chemist. Her brother and a friend of his were in the car…she was sitting in the front with an ice-pack on her knee and I do what I never do…leave the keys in the car so she can listen to the radio. I come out and just whip into the bookshop next door to look at something while I wait for the chemist to do his stuff…I can see the car. Daughter hobbles out…round to the driver’s door and as she calls out “should i take the keys out Mum ?’ she attempts just that only turning the key. having left the car (Oh my this sounds terrible) in gear it hops the kerb and rams into the chemist shop door. luckily no-one was between car and door, and Daughter didn’t get hurt. She was crying and oh Mum look what I did to the car…really beside herself. All i could tell her was this: ‘it is just a car, i don’t care.’ Months later i mentioned it to someone who repeated what the bookshop owner had told them.
he said he couldn’t believe what i had said to my daughter about the car…because it was the best answer he could imagine…
Oh bless her she could almost be my character! I think you should write this again as flash fiction!
Very creative! Loved the red box and the dad!
Naaaw – that’s lovely 🙂
Loved this, great take on the prompt. Loved the dad.
‘I saw, don’t cry angel it’s just a red box on wheels’. You gotta LOVE it. I did. So heartwarming.
I enjoyed this so much – the voice of the younger brother, the defensiveness of the sister, hiding her trepidation, and I absolutely loved the first line “like an Ikea drawer closing” and the Dad’s line, “red box on wheels”. Nice!
Brilliant and you had me laughing too. 😉