Julia doesn’t like Halloween, I can’t say I’m over keen either but it’s an excuse to be silly so here goes with A Recipe for a witch perhaps you would like to write one as well?

Five Century Cackle Buns

Take nineteen apples, bobbed and then spat out. Chop and mix into a litre of pepto bismol. Mince the fingers of seven ladies and soak them in mackerel juice for three Sabbaths.

Whisk all together with sprinklings of powdered caterpillar, the feathers of a dodo, the warts of a crone and an eyebrow from an Arctic chimp.

Bring to the boil, strain through a hermits sock, saving the mashings for later. Tip into fifty individual dragon’s egg shells and bake.

Mix the mashings with hair removal cream and spread over cooled buns.

Enjoy with a large mug of boiled bluebottles.