Puffins, Lottery Tickets and the Crazy Polish Woman

Lucid Gypsy and the Crazy Polish Woman went for a lunchtime stroll and as usual we tried to put the world to rights, quite a task in half an hour and we soon got bored with trying! We moved on to the lottery, her desire to win, combined with the impossibility of that, when she doesn’t buy a ticket. She has bought a little globe and wants to go to as many places as possible in the world. Nothing unusual about that is there? Except that when she wins, she will spend the first £5000 visiting Iceland. Again not particularly unusual, I wouldn’t mind myself as long as it was in midsummer. She has a mission though. Puffins. She loves them, and has come across a fact that I for one did not know.

So she wants to travel to Iceland to warn them to leave. Ideally she will speak to each of them individually. Of course we debated whether these conversations should be carried out in English, Polish or Squawk (something she does when she gets excited, angry or just plain Crazy). It has to be Squawk, I don’t think there are many Puffins in Poland – but will be happy to be proved wrong – and they tend to avoid people in England, choosing instead to hang around on Lundy or the Scilly’s.

Aside from getting close enough in Iceland to have a conversation with them, of course there is the problem of recognising which ones you have warned already. Unless you are a Puffin they all look pretty much the same. So if they aren’t prepared to leave immediately, then some sort of label would be needed. Perhaps the ones that CPW has enlightened can be persuaded to spread the word in Puffin speak, and then she may be able to see some geysers and glaciers, in the day long day with the left over money.

She really is very worried about them and a world without Puffins would of course be terrible. If you are a follower of some of the celebrity chefs, you may already know what her fears are. If not, well please stop reading if you are of a sensitive disposition. You see it’s because they are eaten. Icelanders consider raw Puffin heart to be a delicacy.

I am going to buy CPW a lottery ticket.

11 thoughts on “Puffins, Lottery Tickets and the Crazy Polish Woman

  1. Oh dear…that reminds me of reading about how, in the late nineteenth century Out West, millions of buffalo were killed and (mostly) left to rot (hopefully some were at least scavenged), because the tongue – just the tongue – was considered a delicacy. Fortunately people back then came to their senses in time for the species to recover…

  2. Oh I didn’t know that…that’s horrible. They are such cute little things. I hope she wins and is able to spread the world. We need her to.

  3. Very well written, Gilly. So entertaining. (And I HATE raw meet or fish of any kind! — Just sayin’)

    Also reminded me of a friend who bought me a lottery ticket a couple of years ago. We had talked about how so many people play the lottery, and how neither of us is prone to do that at all. I would never buy one, and he understood that. He, on the other hand, is committed to holding out until the total amount reaches way into the millions (I’ve forgotten what his actual figure is). Then he is going to buy one and has promised to give $3,000 to multiple friends. However, a couple years ago on my birthday, he took me to dinner and presented me with a Dr. Seuss birthday card (since I’m a writer and that seemd appropriate to his peculiarly dry sense of humor), and inside was tucked a lottery ticket. When I took it out and looked at it in astonishment, he shrugged and said, “Well … I wanted to get you something you’d never buy yourself.” He knew that was a sure thing, and even though most people laugh, I thought it was particularly thoughtful of him.

  4. I’m also very fond of puffins. They look so cheerful. I didn’t know that the icelanders eat them, I thought they were under protection… Well I thought that the puffin colonies on one of the channel islands are under protection and on faroer islands as well, so I guessed that there would be the same law in other europeen countries.

    1. I didn’t get this puffin-story out of my head, so I searched for info on the web. I found out that my informations are totally wrong, puffins are not under protection and it is quite common that they got aten. Sorry for the poor buddies.

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