Planet App

A couple of weeks ago Sandra at http://sandraconner.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/experimental-writing-challenge/ decided to share a friends graphics as an experimental writing challenge. I like the image and had an idea straight away, but it took until this evening to do it. This is the image.
terrys-green-planet-2-resized-credits

Fun isn’t it? I decided to limit myself to a hundred word flash.

Planet App

‘I told you this was a daft idea Terry, now look at you.’ Sandra was annoyed; his crazy ideas had got them in a mess again. Green Planet had been her project, her latest phone app, supposed to simulate space travel. Of course Mr Know It All had to take it a step too far. Now there he is swinging out over the edge of the universe.
‘Stuck are you? Well I’m using my last life to jump for it, no more virtual reality games for me,’ she yelled, pointing at the green planet. ‘Knitting apps, that’s where it’s at.’

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups Week # 88

Julia acknowledges that we may take the ‘left field’ with her prompt this week so I saw this as a double edged challenge.

Join in at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week88/

From the Balcony

Parting is such sweet sorrow. Must I utter those words whilst spittle oozes from that pustular mouth? How many times must I spy the rise in his hose and the curl in his leer? He is too long in the tooth to dally as Romeo, canst thou not see? Whilst I, still a mere slip of a boy, I can still appear as a maiden fair, fresh from her mother’s breast.

Good Master Shakespeare, hear my plea, rid me of this Roman. My friend, bring me instead your countryman, the bonny Marlowe, the beauteous serpent to assuage my sorrow. Make haste, on the morrow.

A Book Review, How It Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider

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How It Happened is the debut novel by Shazaf Fatima Haider, a brilliant young woman who lives in Karachi, Pakistan where her story is set. Our narrator, 16 year old Saleha relates the tales of her brother Haroon and sister Zeba’s complex routes to matrimony, while keeping the gnaw of her own inevitable destiny at bay.
The star character is the grand, old and very conservative Dadi, a betel chewing matriarch who is determined to see her grandchildren well married to good Shia families, before she dies, regardless of their happiness. Haroon, a very desirable young man, returned from America, with his MBA is the apple of Dadi’s eye, and it is on him that her obsession focuses most urgently. She must have her grandchildren married ahead of those of her arch rival, Quarrat Dadi, and to that end the family march to the homes of half a dozen ‘suitable’ girls. All are rejected and it emerges that Haroon has his own plan which eventually comes to fruition.
Dadi then turns her full attention to Zeba Baji, 25 and wilful. She is visited by a selection of suitors, the comedy rises and sparks fly as she falls for a Sunni Muslim.
How it Happened has been compared to Pride and Prejudice, with its rich array of characters. Certainly Dadi has a similarity to Mrs Bennett, but with far more control, intelligence and ability to strike fear. I’ll leave it to you to investigate further comparisons.
This book is a remarkable insight into the culture of the Indian Sub-Continent. Haider peppers her narrative with Hindustani and Hinglish words and while understanding them isn’t necessary to enjoy the book, I would have quite liked a crib list and when released in the UK it might be helpful. This has been my best read for a very long time and I can’t recommend it enough.
How It Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider is published by Penguin Viking.

When I first met Shaz and she told me that she is a writer, my question was obvious. I was intrigued by her reply that her novel was about arranged marriage and during the following ten days, spending a lot of time in her company, I realised that her novel was guaranteed to be hilarious. It did not disappoint. It goes far beyond being a funny book, she tells of the tension between traditions and modernity in Pakistani society. Her book places her alongside the best writers of her generation.

Housekeeping

We have new housekeepers, that’s the name for the army of people who keep our offices clean these days. Often, they are invisible, in at the crack of dawn, in charge of vacuum cleaners, dusters and bleach and gone before we leave the house. Not so the pair that clean our block, which is a two story rabbit warren a bit like the Tardis. I get there around 8.15 and it’s usually bin emptying time – I must be annoying because mine has orange peel, plum stones and yoghurt pots- and the cleaners are noisy. They are sisters and both built for comfort rather than speed, one blonde, the other dark and a laugh a minute in their lavender tunics and trousers, pushing a trolley stuffed with spare loo rolls and soap refills.

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Today, being Friday the dark sister told us she is going ‘on the lash’ tonight and when asked if she will be in a sorry state tomorrow she insisted that no that never happens. Her prophylactic is a full tummy and a glass of milk beforehand and lots of water at bedtime, I’ll check on Monday to see if it worked!

Last week I caught blonde sister teasing, really, really big time teasing our senior department manager, a  reserved, formal man of few words. She actually called him a miserable old so and so, because he only grunts a reply to her cheery ‘good mornings’. I felt for him and tried to take it down a level by telling her how busy he is but she wouldn’t be halted. He later confessed that the situation was rather embarrassing, no doubt he has the wherewithal to deal with it.

I remember in the early part of my working life an outside company used to come each week to sterilize the telephones and twice a day a lady arrived with a trolley load of tea, coffee and biscuits. Those days are long gone, and now of course we have to clean our desks, and that’s fine.

Do you have a valiant team of office cleaners? Do you remember the days of the tea trolley? Perhaps you are the office housekeeper, if so I bet you have stories to tell?

 

 

 

 

Lazy Poets Thursday Poem: Extra Lazy and Nearly Friday

genetic footprints

lines of women walked before me
ever increasing one 2
four eight sixteen
don’t draw breath thirty 2
sixty four do the math

seven generations trace back
race back to century 18
spring seven lines ahead
bounce my genes to century 22

I only track back 2
and project two forward

will I hold three planet walkers?
or will that privilege be lost
as one back is lost to me?

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups week# 86

100WCGU (7)

….. the queue was so long …..

You have another 100 words to add, will you join in this week? Visit Julia at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2013/04/22/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week86/ for more info.

Soup Kitchen

‘See that tall spire?’ said the woman, who wore layers of scruffy clothes, I nodded, thinking that could be me in a few years, if I’m spared. ‘They have food and beds most nights’ she said. Relieved, I went down the hill, but as the light faded so did my energy.
The path levelled out and the spire disappeared from view. My stomach howled, like the wind that blew rubbish around the cobbled maze of streets. I willed my frozen feet forward. A path opened up; there was the church, salvation at last. But the queue was so long, I waited all night for sustenance.

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups Week# 81

100WCGU (7)Julia says . . .

‘I don’t know about you but things seem very odd in the meteorological system! The weather is not behaving as it should anywhere in the world. Cue for the prompt:

…the unseasonal weather meant …’

Muddy Hindrance

The unseasonal weather meant that I could really have done with my boots, but I’d left them behind in my panic. Over and over my feet slid and at one point I nearly fell headlong into the canal. Toby wasn’t strong enough to help very much but at least he could shine the torch on the towpath for me. Every few feet there was a crunch as I stepped on a pocket of ice glazing the mud.

Finally we passed the lock.

‘You’ll never treat anyone like that again will you dad? Goodbye, you bastard.’ With one big shove his body sank into the deepest water.

Join in at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week81/

Good For Me

As a small child I remember certain things that were supposed to be ‘good for me’. Back then I wondered if it was only me that these things were good for, I don’t remember any other children I knew that had these ‘good for you’ experiences. The earliest GFY was Cod Liver Oil, teaspoons of it. I can’t remember the taste, more the idea of it. I mean it hardly sounds appealing does it? Surely it might have been easier to swallow if it had been called Golden Smile Squash or something, any other ideas? Even as an adult – well outwardly, the idea of extracting oil from a cod’s liver is gruesome and quite strange. Who first thought of such a thing and how and when was it decided that it was GFY?

Next, when I was in infant school, a third of a pint of full cream milk in a glass bottle was thrust upon us every morning at play time. No doubt it was the government’s attempt to keep the countries children well nourished. Well it was wasted on me. The fact that I was made to drink it was guaranteed to make me rebel, but aside from that it made me sick. Luckily a willing victim grateful recipient in the shape of one of the Henry sisters was waiting for me to sneak it to her as soon as Miss King’s back was turned. I’ve never been able to drink a glass of milk and can only tolerate skimmed milk in hot drinks.

Also in school, where the classroom was converted into a dining room at lunchtime, ready to serve the dreaded green vegetables. I don’t think anyone liked them but everyone but me managed to eat them anyway. I would move them around my plate until they were stone cold and eventually teacher – who was probably desperate for her own lunch, took pity on me and let me out to play. That is until Miss Dunn arrived and saw me as her personal challenge. She would stand over me with a very stern face and a sharp tongue insisting that I would sit there until I had eaten it, or until class resumed. On one lovely sunny day I really, really wanted to play with my friends so I stuffed my cheeks, hamster fashion, with a couple of Brussel sprouts, smile sweetly and she let me go. Sadly for me she caught me just outside the door, spitting them down the drain. Headmasters office for me, but I’ve never, ever, eaten a sprout.

Medicine is GFY and when I was about ten with an ear infection; it was bright yellow anti-biotic pills, big enough to choke on. I’d never taken a pill before and these tasted nasty. The doctor suggested mixing them with something to disguise the taste, and at the time I had a craving for oranges. Tucking a pill into the flesh of my orange should do the trick it was thought. I cried and cried because all it did was spoil my orange. I suppose I must have taken the course of pills but I can’t remember it or imagine how.

All these memories were triggered by this evenings GFY experience. Green tea. A few years ago at the end of a Tai Chi class, green tea was served from a punch bowl, I tried a sip to be polite but as I wasn’t a tea drinker I didn’t expect to enjoy it. Since I had swine flu a few years ago I haven’t been able to drink coffee and so I have become a tea drinker, not bog standard tea, but Lady Grey or Earl Grey, and lately I’ve braved out and can do the odd Rooibos, all poncey stuff, according to most people. So perhaps I would now like green tea? Perhaps my palate has acquired the necessary degree of sophistication to appreciate its beneficial properties. Uh, no, I won’t be drinking that again. Good for me? Someone is having a laugh.

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups Week# 76

Julia says the prompt wrote itself after last weeks. As I only just wrote week 75 I decided to continue where I left off.

On Time part 2

She was entranced by you from the start; my daughter, usually so reticent, actually allowed you to take her hand. In the café Macey giggled with a child on the next table, and you, well you didn’t seem to know who to look at first.

            She is mine isn’t she? You asked, squeezing my hand. If I’d wanted to keep it secret I would have. I caught Macey looking from you to me, and back again, wondering.

You gradually moved into our lives from that day, but I can’t help asking myself what’s beneath the surface? Did you choose both of us or Macey?

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