Last week I met a miniature thief. I was doing a craft fair, in a busy hall, full of families with young children and with a nice buzzy atmosphere. My table was full and on the front edge, perhaps too easily accessible to small hands were three little bowls with low priced hand-made beaded bracelets. A small girl perhaps three or four years old came across, on her own, and studied them. After a few minutes she started picking them up, looking at the colours and trying them for size on her tiny wrist. I could see she liked the bright colours. Just as an older lady came up to talk to me she grabbed three of them and trotted away. My chin dropped and I asked the lady if she had seen it happen. She had half seen and guessed because she noticed the look on my face. I meanwhile was trying to track the child’s path across the hall. She disappeared into a corner where a few people, children and adults, were gathered. I made note of the colours she was wearing and kept looking that way in between talking to potential customers.
I didn’t know what to do. When everyone had moved on I came out from behind my table, walked part of the way across the room and looked at where I had last seen her. I wasn’t sure which if any of the little girls still there was her and with a sigh I returned. I mentioned it to a young woman at the next table but she was busy and had no idea who the child was or what was best to do. I decided I should probably right it off, the items didn’t have much monetary value, but they had been crafted with love. The strange thing is there have been times when I’ve seen little ones really, really wanting something on the stall who clearly could not afford to buy it, so I’ve given it as a gift.
I brooded. Then I saw her clearly again with a woman, very young who had to be her mother. Okay should I go and say something. A couple of people came to chat again and for a few minutes I couldn’t do anything, then lo and behold the mother came my way with the little girls hand firmly in hers. I was embarrassed but raised my eyebrows and said hello, pointing at the bracelets that mum had in her hand. She looked at my table and knew it was where they came from.
‘Are these yours she asked?’
‘ Uh yes, she obviously liked them because she helped herself and ran off, I didn’t know what to do – I didn’t want to upset her or make her feel bad (thinking all the time that she her behaviour was bad!) but she needs to know that it’s wrong.’
Mum said ‘She’s done it before.’ Apparently she has seen things in shops and said to her mum ‘why don’t we just take it?’ Mum was profusely sorry and embarrassed so I tried to be kind, while reinforcing that little girl needs to learn quickly that it’s wrong. They left then. This has never happened to me before after doing craft fairs for about five years. My question is what should I have done? Actually it probably has happened, other people have had things disappear from their tables. Should I have stormed over behind the girl and made a fuss right away? Suppose they had left immediately without the mum doing anything? or the child could have dropped it in a corner, having got bored with it, then another could have picked it up and ‘found’ it. Tricky things to deal with, when it’s a very young child. What would you have done?
Lucid Gypsy 
I would have done as the Mom did. As for you, was someone with you to man your table while you followed the little girl? You could have grabbed her…I mean tapped her on the shoulder and asked in a quiet voice etc. etc. Lucky the mother save you from having to do anything.
No I was on my own. It turned out ok I just hope the mum manages to deal with the problem – she was very young herself and probably needs support.
My daughter once lifted a pack of gum in the variety store. I had no idea until we we outside that she gleefully showed me what she had. She was around four-ish. I marched her right back to the store. My bigger disappointment was the reaction of the owner. Instead of using this opportunity for a gentle explanation, she acted as if I was bothering her. 😦
what a tricky situation. This mother has to be very firm with her, very soon she might not get away with this
Well, I’m not generally very nice in these kinds of matters, Gilly, so I probably wouldn’t have hesitated to yell out after the girl: “Thief!! Stop her!” You can see I don’t like to put up with things like this!
I think I would have done the same as you… I’d probably be embarrassed to go after the little girl.
This is a really tough one, especially when it concerns a young child. You probably did the right thing though it is not right in any case.
As one who turned my car around to collar a group of 7yr olds who pelted my car with snowballs one winter, I can tell you I would have dropped everything, followed that little thief and made a huge fuss. I really can’t stand undisciplined, crappy kids! LOL Seriously!!! I worked like a dog to make sure my kids were mannerly, polite and honest and I don’t think enough people do the same!
So this girl’s mother said “she’s done this before” hmmmm…that bothers me..seems she needs to reiterate how wrong stealing is!
I would not have created a fuss. I would have warned the tables around me and, if I had the opportunity to speak to the parent, I would have. Seems to me the mother has some serious parenting to do to nick this in the bud or else she will soon be shoplifting more expensive things and get into serious trouble.
OMG … I am red !!!! Please … Please … Please … don’t be polite. This child could be a future criminal. Oh, I know that sounds extreme. But, to day a bracelet – tomorrow a car.
Under no circumstances do you allow anyone to take anything or feel sorry for someone who cannot afford an item. Anyone can save and work hard to get what they would like. None of us – unless you’re born wealthy can afford everything. Should we all go around taking it and not care about the person who worked hard to make it; who had materials that had to be purchased; or is working an extra day to sell it.
I would have done what catbirdinamerica did except I would have asked the person next to me to observe my craft table while I went after a thief. I would have shouted as the child ran and told people to stop her. I would have picked her up and asked her who her mother was or shouted out to anyone who was around that a theft has taken place. I would have found the guard – if the fair had one – and told him to hold the child for the mother and that my craft table was wherever it was so he could tell the mother.
To me – it isn’t the cost of the item. It’s the disrepect and the crime. I learned early on in my jewelry selling days that everyone is capable of stealing. I had an elderly – real elderly woman steal from me. Should I have shyly let her take it because of her age. Does the age make a difference? No! A crime is a crime. There’s no such thing as crime light.
The people who attend the fares won’t remember your ranting after the child or adult thief and they may not frequent that fair again – ssooo, thy’re unknowns. The crafters who have seen the rant will be grateful that another child/person may have been warned by your yelling and may not do it again.
I could go on but that’s not the point. You need to know that you have a right to let someone know that what they have done isn’t okay even if it’s a child.
Please safeguard your items in cases or place things that are small near the edge where you’re seated. Statistics show that given the opportunity even the most honest will wonder if they should or shouldn’t walk off with something. Don’t tempt anyone ,,,,
Hope this was helpful … perhaps, you didn’t want so much information so I apologize for taking up so much comment space.
Hugs,
Issy xoxo
yes gilly, so important for a child to understand not to steal …. i am sorry for the mother who obviously needs to persist … and what a good thing that the mother brought her back …. as for you, i would have been the same, quite a dilemma!
I totally agree with Isadora. As much as I don’t like doing it, I would have created a fuss so that little child must learn that it’s not good to take things that doesn’t belong to you. Sometimes we are too polite. 😀 *big hugs*
Me too
Tough one Gilly. A slightly older child would have borne the full brunt of my wrath. In this case talking to the mother, if you found the chance, would probably have been the best option. I feel sorry for her too.
Amazing and Thank you for writing which is quite good and best wishes always, and greetings. Kindness blossoms in your heart
I think under the circumstances you did the right thing because you couldn’t have left your table unattended. The mother ought to have realized immediately that those bracelets were not hers nor the child’s and returned them pronto with a spanking to boot (well in Africa I the mother would have given her the spanking of her life right there and then but in the West it is a different ball game)
Oh Gilly, so sorry you had this experience. Sadly it does happen. We have found that all sorts disappear. The worst culprits are older girls – between 11 and 15 who often ‘hunt’ in ‘packs’ and will do their best to distract. That’s why insurance is so high. Our quote this year was so high that we are seriously thinking of closing. We have never made a claim but……
the little girl still lives in that paradise where no money exists. Sadly she has to learn, that there is another world. Recently I had to use a subway / underground / metro with my little grandson, aged 5, in Berlin. I asked him: do you need to buy a ticket too? He said: “No. Never,” I know, that in airplanes all children older than two have to pay the whole price. I believed him without any further reality checks and entered the underground with only 1 grandpa-ticket.
As she was llittle I think you went about it in the right way, not easy on the spur of the moment. I think a big fuss woujld have been counter productive. One hopes her mother gets the message and acts appropriately.
You handled it graciously, Gilly. I think I would had done the same thing. It’s up to the mother how she would go on about her daughter’s behavior. I wouldn’t allow such thing. Then again, I am a very open-minded person. Like you said, the material-ity of it wasn’t the one that was stolen. We have demons inside us. It gets better with age. 😀 Well, lesson for you as well to oversee your table better. I guess that is hard to do when you’re busy. Just try to be more attentive.