The One Not to be

The one not to be

I watch the crush of hands
as I hear my own lips
saying I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat
hold on hold on and hold tighter
then this won’t be true
I’ll blink and someone will say you’re dreaming
and I won’t be in my crisp uniform
with a plastic pinny and eyes full of empathy
for something I’ve never experienced
I won’t lean over her belly
pressing a doppler to my ear
with my eyes turning filmy with fear
for the woman whose day I should be making
whose heart I shouldn’t be breaking

but I’ll do it anyway my tears uncontained
and I’ll swallow the pebble in my throat
instead of retching
then I’ll leave them alone
to try to make their love enough
to carry them through

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Soft x three

It’s Tina’s turn to choose the theme for this weeks :Lens-Artists Photo Challenge, and her topic is Soft. She’s posted some very cute and soft farm animals from New York State, Scotland and Patagonia, my favourite is the highland cow!

She doesn’t mind how we interpret the theme, so I have three pics for you.

Soft snow on a soft cobweb.

One of my G-babies on a soft slide, she’s just had her fifth birthday!

And soft light in a soft, cloudy sky.

 

Time to Relax

I wish, but I do have next week off so perhaps there’s hope.

Meanwhile I think I’m just in time to joins the Lens Artist Challenge this week, where Amy has chosen Time to Relax as this weeks theme.

In June I had a day out with my friend Sue, a belated birthday treat for me. We went to Burrow Farm Garden in east Devon. There happened to be a wedding there that day and we saw several guests who’d arrived early enjoying the garden in full bloom. On family intrigued me, A mum, dad and their two children who seemed quite untogether and un- smiley considering the event.

Every so often we’d turn a corner and even just a few feet away it was as if we were invisible. Anyway at one point we spotted the dad relaxing.

I expect he would have been even more grumpy if he knew I’d snapped him.

A workshop poem

On Saturday I went to a poetry workshop organised by Moor Poets. The tutor was Tamar Yoselof, an inspiring tutor who gave valuable feedback to all.

The title of the workshop was Ekphrasis and we looked closely at several Ekphrastic poems including one of Tamar’s. I never knew that there was a name for the way I use art or photography to write poems.

We had a pile of art postcards to choose from as a writing prompt.

I left with rough notes for the poem below.

Indigo

Searing heat
no shade allowed
for infidels
I must be content with an outside view
of twice baked cubes and oblongs
black wood and the palest bone-like earth
a hush fit to burst
wake the dead
or call the prayer

a woman glides by
swathed in indigo
followed by her child
someone’s child
a warthog mama follows
followed by her squealing wartlets

I walk to where people huddle
smiling with the hope of a chat
but with foot flicks of sand they’re gone
leaving one elder man who looks as if he’s always been

solitary

a sentinel guarding what?

he fixes black eyes on mine
waits
then hisses like a possible snake
if I dare to stay I see
the slow deliberate bend of an elbow
slide of hand to a pocket
to pull out
a Koran
blade
iphone