January Small Stones# Twenty One

Accept the person, reject the behaviour, how many times have I told myself that? I think one of my lessons in this life is to learn how to deal with selfish people. People who don’t understand the concept of conversation, the taking of turns. You know how you bump into someone who you know, and you’re quite pleased to see them, so you ask how they are? You listen for ten minutes, realise you’re late for something and say goodbye. Then you realise that whoever it is hasn’t asked a single thing about you.
Or the ones who get in touch when they have troubles, knowing you’re a good listener. You go round, let them cry on your shoulder, until they feel better, but you’re totally drained. Then don’t hear from them for months.
Do we all have these people in our lives? Or is it just me? Perhaps it’s my role.

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34 thoughts on “January Small Stones# Twenty One

  1. Yes – I know several people like this! (Sometimes I think I attract them.) Once, though, I got so frustrated with the way a friend just keeps talking and talking that I started talking too, instead of waiting for her to pause. To my surprise, she listened to me and answered what I said! So maybe it’s just that I don’t understand how to pick up their conversational cues…

  2. Yup. Certainly do know people like this and feel sorry for their narrow, self-absorbed lives. Is it something you can outgrow with a conscious effort, do you think?

  3. it irritates me a little as well. I know that these days [because I don’t like when people do that to me] I try to make sure I make the effort to close my mouth and listen

  4. i used to have people around like that but not for some years … i think it is me … i know how to break off those conversations and move along …. too much to do and lots of help to give in other places now 🙂

  5. Some people are better at it than others… my wife is like that, every one comes to her with their problems and forget to ask about her cancer problems… she is blessed in helping others and sees it as such… I’m not a good listener, you are, take it as a blessing you have been given… I think its magic that some of you can help others out like that… good on you…

  6. OMG … I could have written this one, Gilly. I feel like my shoulder on one side of my body has melted from all the tears people have left on there. I never know how to feel afterwards when the phone goes dead. Lots of questions come up in me as a person. On the other hand, I guess it’s a good thing. I am trying to have boundries, then, feel guilty about them. I suppose nice people will be rewarded one day – just not now – that must be the lesson.
    Namaste ….

  7. I have these people in my life as well. The better half and I were talking about this weekend and how some people can be so clueless about those around them. Like you, I try my best to ignore the bad and look for the good. Not always easy.

  8. Gilly, I have ceased wondering why I am always doing things for people including lending money to those in need who come aborrowing, only for me not to be ever paid and yet I never get help when I need it. The issue wiht the money is so serious that sometimes I give out before realising that I have given away my last penny, literally.

    1. And in Ghana there will always be needy people who think that you are wealthy. I find on my travels that if you come from the UK, people think you must be rich, but have no idea how hard it is for someone like me to save to travel anywhere, or that my monthly electricity bill is £45!

  9. Hahaha, oh yes! One ‘friend’ in particular used to do this, when I woke up to the fact I began to greet her with ‘My goodness, you look well! Life must be good at the moment.’ She soon moved on to someone else. The problem is that we don’t always see it coming………

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