Happy Scarecrow Nonsense

My friend at work came in today and said she had seen the scarecrows! It’s becoming a modern tradition in the countryside to have scarecrows not just in fields but in hedges, gateways and front gardens. D had seen them in the village of Newton St Cyres, a few miles outside Exeter and this evening I was heading through there anyway.

These are a few of my finds!

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I’m afraid it was getting dark and that’s my excuse for grainy photos!

I know that scarecrows are found all over the world, but usually just in fields? These were for a competition, to raise funds for charity and the winner has the prize of, um, well knowing they have the most interesting and goofy creation! Maybe you know about competitions like this somewhere else in the world? Let me know if you do!

Thanks to D for telling they were there 🙂 and visit Margekatherine who is hosting a week of happy posts.

http://margekatherine.com/2012/05/09/happiness-care-to-share/

My Hobbit is Suffering

For the last few days the hobbit has been arriving at the office looking increasingly wonky. Have you ever seen an ancient black and white movie starring Boris Karloff as the mummy? Well that’s how the hobbit was walking. Being a hobbit and inhabiting an entirely wrong world where no-one was free to cast a healing spell, he has been suffering, noisily. And enjoying the sympathetic attention of the pretty audit ladies, who were visiting the department. How has he acquired this painful condition? Well it could be, that not only does he spend his working days in front of a PC, but also because he has a portfolio of shares to manage, he hunches over his home PC until his head crashing onto the key board wakes him up. His eyes are as red as the mummy’s might have been, if the film above had been colour.

I don’t believe this is the real cause though, because on Friday I witnessed something strange. Hobbit cleaned his desk for the first time ever.

I don’t know if you remember that I told you about his car? How it’s interior looks and smells like it’s been dredged up from somewhere very unpleasant? Well, this leads me to believe that it’s the first time he has ever cleaned anything. It may have caused this irreparable damage to his neck and shoulder.

Hobbit has been asking the women to massage his pain away and one kind lady did help, not me of course! I sent him scuttling off to buy some anti inflammatory. Of course he couldn’t reach the site of the pain and asked for help to apply it. In an office with sixteen people, you can imagine the response.

Today he muttered about getting some professional help in the form of a chiropractor, but then talked himself back out of it because of the cost – all his money is tied up in shares. I remembered that our noble employer offers a free physio service and helped him to find the number. He stalled. ‘Go on call them, the sooner you do the sooner you’ll get sorted.’ ‘Not with everyone listening, I’ll do it later.’ I think he’s scared it might hurt. Or that it might be a dragon of a physio. Or that it might be a very attractive physio. He won’t go, he is happy in his suffering.

So why was he cleaning his desk? He has moved and someone new is sitting beside me. Hobbit is  8 feet behind me and I miss him and his Hobbity ways, and his socks.

Tag You’re It – 11 Questions!

Cathy over at a nomad in the land of nizwa tagged me in 11 questions and because I liked them I’m going to do it this time!

http://catbirdinoman.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/tag-youre-it-11-questions/

Here are Cathy’s questions:
1. When was the last time you told someone honestly how you felt?

Three hours ago when working with a very special woman who has made incredible changes in her life. You know who you are and how proud I am of you 🙂
2. What is something or someone you miss most from your childhood?

Dora. She was constant.
3. What song will be forever connected with an important event or person in your life?

Wash me clean by KD Lang. Explain. It’s a song that marked a huge transition in my life.
4. What three things in nature do you find most beautiful?

I love orchards, any tree that looks beautiful in blossom , bears delicious fruit and then reveals its structure before doing it all again.

The sea, I can stare at it for hours. The one I liked best was the the South Atlantic off of Ghana when I realised there was no land fall between me and the Antarctic.
5. What scares you most and why?

The usual things like rats, insects and snakes. Not because of the creatures themselves exactly, more because you don’t know where they are or when they will creep up on you!
6. What was the year you were most happy and why?

This year, its better than last year which was better then the  year before which was better than the year before which was … you get the picture!
7. What is your favorite part of the human face and why?

No surprises here – the eyes have it, so much is revealed.
8. What was the hardest thing you ever had to do?

Say goodbye to my father knowing that I wouldn’t see him again.
9. What kind of food do you like best: sweet, salty, savory? Give an example.

Sweet, mango!
10. What is the last movie you watched and how did you feel about it?

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, loved it. It brought memories of India back to flood my senses.
11. Are you usually late, early, or right on time?

Pretty much on time – boring!

So, some questions from me.

1. Is there an item that you never leave home without, if so what is it?

2. If you were given a free holiday is there a destination you would refuse to go to?

3. Did you have a school uniform? describe it!

4. Do you still have friends from your school days?

5. Have you ever tried any extreme sports/

6. Whats the longest you have slept in one go?

7. From what you know about me is there a book you would recommend?

8. Could you ride a skateboard for a hundred metres without falling off?

9. Favourite breakfast?

10. Can you navigate on a journey to a strange town a few hundred miles away?

11. Is there something you cook really well?

I’m not going to tag anyone specific but I would love it if you, yes YOU, answered my questions.

A Cycle of Platforms and Hot Pants

Browsing a few shops the other day my friend (also middle aged) and I had a lot of laughs at the clothes in the High Street fashion shops. Some of the things they would like young women to wear, are quite ridiculous, ghastly and even dangerous. I pulled tiny, bright yellow, jeans style shorts from the rack, held them against myself and decided that if I could somehow force them onto my plumptious rear, I would probably get arrested. I was told the next day that they are worn with thick black tights, uh so? They would still be ultra revealing. Again, from my old fogey perspective, I find it quite worrying to drive through the town on a Saturday night, and see girls, even in winter, in the skimpiest of garments, especially when they are far from sober. And then I remembered. I would have been sixteen, drop dead gorgeous and with a perfect figure, when I wore Hot Pants and walked down the town on a Saturday night, far from sober! I was never one for flashing the cleavage, but my  long, brown and sexy legs climbed high up to my very cropped denims. Actually my skirts were possibly worse than the Hot Pants, because they barely covered my assets and were definitely shorter than this.

We looked at shoes next; laughing at five inch platformed Betty Boo heels, that we would need scaffolding to be able to climb into, and crutches for three months if we attempted to walk in them. Some, like these are beautiful art, I’m tempted to buy some for posterity.

I asked a shopper if she wears anything like it and she said that yes, she does on a night out, and can keep them on comfortably for four to five hours. She was a sweetie, twenty-one and happy to have a laugh with us.  Apparently she usually wears them with skinny jeans, the mind boggles. I really hope she manages to keep staying vertical. And then I remembered. My five inch, sling back platformed shoes, shiny yellow patent and worn with those tiny skirts. I really wish I’d kept them or even had a photo . . . sighs. I wonder if the twenty –one year old will be looking at the fashion when she is middle aged,and laughing about it. In the 80’s, leggings were everywhere, they disappeared for a while but then lycra’d their way back to a whole new generation, who think they’re cool. But there’s nothing new under the sun is there? Are you old enough to remember wearing some of today’s so called hot trends? Do tell me!

100 Word Challenge For Grown Ups # 37

Julia’s 100 WCGU this we at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/04/02/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-37/ says this:-

The prompt this week is to go back to last week’s entries. You are to use the last 10 words of the post next to yours and using just 100 words create a story. It may be a follow-on from the previous one or you may like to take it in a different direction.

I’m told that what I have written is quite a bit ‘Off in left field’  and that it will confirm my craziness but hey, I like to play! My section of prompt is ‘walked up to the table slowly, “what is going on?”, here it is.

Growing Table

The medical authority, are battling to control an obesity epidemic, but an abundance of sweets and biscuits covered the office table. There were back-from-a-Transylvanian-holiday treats, and dunkies provided by the plumptious boss. Fresh today, a stack of cakes, brownies and shortbread, courtesy of GT Porky and Co, auditors.

The scrawny dietician walked up to the table slowly, ‘What is going on here?’ ‘Not in my clinic, WE set an example.’ Behind her, the boss’s kilogramically challenged boss, with an epicurean feast of hot cross buns and Easter eggs, retreats, his face flaming, as she swept the booty into the bin.

Jaisalmer, Camel Safari at the Worlds End

Khuri is a little desert village with a hotel of whitewashed huts.

Khuri

We had cold drinks, and then went to meet our camels and make a decision, to camp in the desert, under the stars with a bed roll, or sleep in a hut with beds. We had several things to weigh up, what the food would be like – I don’t eat meat so didn’t fancy chicken, goat or camel roasted over an open fire! I’m joking of course, but no-one could tell me what the possibilities were. And what if pennies needed to be spent in the middle of the night? Let’s face it, there were no trees to hide behind. What swung it though was the possibility of scorpions. Who remembers a James bond film where one was climbing up 007’s chest? We chose to come back to the hotel.

Camel Saddles

It’s really quite difficult to get onto a camel, the saddles look good, well padded, but your legs are spread wide apart. Anyway, they are reluctantly in their lowest possible position, to enable you to climb on, then you have to time it just right and lean backwards, when they get up. That’s a very unnatural position, given that they sway as they do so. You soon get used to the motion; it’s a bit like a Space Hopper on legs. But then you go downhill, and not only do you need to lean backwards again, but also you have to squeeze tight with any muscles you can find in your thighs. So we were off into the dunes, to seek the sunset. That same still silence and heat that we experienced in Khuldera, something almost tangible, wrapped itself around us, lulling us into a state of euphoria and creating an inner glow, a bit like a meditation.

Unrepentant!

I could have been riding around for hours, travelling miles, or round in a figure of eight for ten minutes, because I had no sense of time or bearings. We reached a crest where a dozen people had already parked their humps and settled down to wait. This is where it went wrong. I dismounted and turned to where travelling friend was doing the same, just in time to see it get back up as she was getting off. Result – she fell, luckily there was no real damage but she was shocked and disorientated for a while and didn’t want to ride the pesky thing back.

We eased our hump shaped legs down onto the sand and waited while the sky became sky-blue-pink, it was beautiful but was like looking through a veil of micro fine sand. Travelling friend did ride back, very bravely. We couldn’t help thinking of what might have happened, of course it was hideous, scary and even embarrassing but thank heavens nothing was broken because Devon Air Ambulance was a tad out of range.

We were the only non Germans at the hotel, sitting around listening to some musicians, and dancing in the dark. We shocked Mr Singh again, with our capacity for Tiger, it comes in quite large bottles over there and well, it was very hot, even after the stars came out.

Excellent entertainment

Quite well lubricated, we headed for our hut. It was clean but very basic, with a loo in a cubby hole. Help came very quickly when I screamed. Spiders. Lots of very large spiders. We were laughed at but rescued. I insisted on checking under the beds for any that could be waiting for some fresh, juicy, English or American woman to feast on. The trouble was, checking when the light was one little dangling bulb, was pretty difficult. Attempting to push a bed aside, we found that it was a mattress, on planks that rested on piles of bricks! We didn’t find any more octopods, but didn’t sleep well either for worrying about them. The lesson – we would probably have fared better risking the scorpions.

I would highly recommend a camels safari, there’s nothing quite like the perspective you get aboard a foul breathed, bottom burping beastie with long eyelashes.

Don't I look the part?

The Write Stuff, A Slight Refrain

For two days now I have been learning to write. No, not the creative type that I have studied with the Open University, but handwriting, just like this, that you may or may not be able to read. If you have paid attention, you will have seen a post a month ago, where I exposed myself as one of the worst scribes on the planet.

Last week there was a development, a patient at work commented ‘Oh you have such cute little handwriting’. It made my colleague laugh rather too much  and gave me a nice warm glow all day. It actually wasn’t cute or nearly readable like this, it was more my old style. You see,I think I might just have turned over a new leaf!

I started to think about why it is so messy. I know that part of the problem is that I am really always in a hurry but it has to be more than that. And then I remembered, a few people over the years have said that I don’t hold my pen correctly, so I looked at how others did it. It seemed to be something to do with the angle, so instead of my usual grasp,

I tried like this,

and guess what? It’s instantly better, whoop, whoop I’m so excited, I can nearly do it. At this point my daughter will be thinking special mummy and laughing her head off. But why did it go wrong in the first place? I really was neat as a child and feel a bit cheated when I could have had really stylish writing all my life. My next challenge will be to keep  trying to improve until it does look beautiful. I may have to work on making it a little bigger as well, I can remember my old boss saying my writing was too small as well as illegible and I would defensively tell him that he should be pleased that a pen would last longer because I didn’t use as much ink.

So, click on the two photos, can you all see some improvement? 🙂

100 Word Challenge for grown Ups Week #33

http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/03/05/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week-33/

This week’s prompt from Julia is an image of one of the wonderful sculptures at the Eden Project, a Heather Jansch horse.

Apparently no-one will ‘get’ my flash this week but I’ve been dared to post it anyway!

Eden Horse

My back’s numb thank God, but I’m worried my arm’s so blue. There’s some light coming in the window, so someone’s gonna come soon. Then I’ll know my fate. I spect I’ll be out of a job. I’ve heard it’s worth thirty thousand pounds. Can’t see it myself. I was dusting see. I wondered how it stayed in one piece, so I crouched down to look for some screws. Just a tiny tug and I found out there aren’t many. It creaked, and slipped an bit, so I held it still else it’d collapse. I’ve been holding it all night.

Tag – you’re it!

This game is called “Tag – you’re it!”

THE RULES:

  • You must post these rules.
  • Each person must post 11 things about him/herself on their blog. Answer the questions the “tagger” listed for you in their post,
  • And create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
  • Choose 11 people to tag and link to them in the post.
  • Let each blogger know that you have tagged them                                                                     My answers to the 11 questions asked by Sonel, http://sonelscorner.wordpress.com
    1. Name one important lesson you’ve learned in life.  you can’t change yesterday, you don’t know about tomorrow so just be with today.
    2. Who or what inspires you? Being outdoors, anywhere,  to watch people.
    3. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? Mali.
    4. Name a movie title for the story of your life. Secrets and lies.
    5. What was your favorite toy as a kid? My troll collection that I used to make clothes for.
    6. If you can be a Disney character, who would you be? I would have to create my own.
    7. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Laugh.
    8. Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? Being made redundant.
    9. What is something you learned last week? That there are little tube shaped gadgets to drink through that make the dirtiest water safe with it’s internal filtration thingy.
    10. If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet? My late father who I hardly knew.                                                                                                                    

      11. When you are alone what do you most enjoy doing? Writing obviously!                Now I get to tag 11 people and ask 11 questions of them.   

      For any of you guys that decide to join in this is the hardest part, my eleven questions.  Actually the really hard bit is getting rid of the silly formatting I have copied and pasted!  Feel free to  play or ignore me!

      What was the last thing you had to drink?

      Do you have a plan for tomorrow?

      Can you remember your first day at school and if you liked it?

      Have you overcome any phobias?

      Your favourite book, and why?

      A link to your most popular blog post

      What made you laugh today?

      Have you ever taken part in a protest?

      Have your ever been really, REALLY scared?

      What is the strangest thing you have even eaten?

      Will you go to heaven?

      And here are my chosen ones 🙂

      http://isobelandcat.wordpress.com/ 

       http://thescroobiouspip.wordpress.com/ 

       http://malouprestado.wordpress.com/

        http://jfb57.wordpress.com/

        http://sophomorejinx.wordpress.com/

       http://kardzbykris.wordpress.com/

        http://eof737.wordpress.com/

        http://huffygirl.wordpress.com/

      http://latebloomerbuds.wordpress.com/ 

      http://2011onthebench.wordpress.com/ 

      http://implicado.wordpress.com/