Five Things They Don’t tell You about Getting Older

When you’re young, skirts and trousers with elasticated waistbands are just ‘old lady clothes’ and you take it for granted that they need the comfort, while knowing that it will never happen to you. Wrong. Elasticated waistbands are manufacturer’s way of making some money from older ladies who are not catered for by designers. They fail to cash in on the silver pound, sticking instead to the young, slim or even emaciated because they make their clothes look better. What they fail to take into account is that even really slim women change body shape with age. You can be small but still have a bug tummy, no waist, no bottom and that hip spring – the difference between waist and hip measurement – decreases from about twelve inches when you are twenty five and a size twelve or fourteen to about six inches when you are fifty even if you still have thirty eight inch hips! So your choice is  whether to  buy skirts or trousers that fit your waist and balloon out like a parachute around your hips, never, ever do your top buttons up, or . . . elastic and crimplene.

Your eyelashes start to disappear, what happens is that they grow inwards. They creep down through some special internal follicles until they reach your upper lip and chin where they multiply like cell division and burst out forming a lush growth to warm your face in winter.

Old ladies can’t wear pretty brassieres. Pretty ones are aimed at young women whose breasts have not yet become matronly. Matronly bosoms appear around your late forties. Oh yes they do, even if you always wore a 34A you will suddenly need a 36F, and the wide straps that go with bras in those kind of sizes. Woe betide those of you who successfully seek out The Thin Strap, because you will have deep chasms in your shoulders. Nope, to contain your new found pitta breads you will require inch wide straps and side scaffolding.

Now, we expect to gain some lines on our faces don’t we? They are lines of wisdom and character of course, and a way of keeping the beauty industry going with our futile attempts to stay young. But what is this crepe like thing happening to my forearms? No one told me about that. And why don’t the magazines recommend that you wear gloves twenty four seven, to stop your hands looking like some haggard witch’s? Because they get paid to advertise hand cream!

Granny shoes. How could they wear such ugly things? This generation didn’t invent ridiculous – oops I mean delicious – heels, platforms and wedges that you need a mounting block to climb into. No, I had them too and could walk miles, dance all night and then walk home again in them. I didn’t live in them, I loved flip flops too. They were never as lovely as the ones around now. I have some gorgeous jewelled and sequined ones, in fact several pairs; I keep buying them in the hope that some will be comfortable enough to walk miles in. If I try that, the impact of every step I take resounds its painful way up through my calves and knees, leaving me hobbling slowly the next day. So, it’s nice comfy cushiony soles for me, little heels on occasion, but even then they would have to be Footgloves. What’s happens to our feet? Well apparently we lose subcutaneous fat from our soles as we get older, who knew that? What I do know is where mine went. Around my middle.

If anyone can warn me of any other little surprises I have to look forward to I would be deeply thrilled to know. Meanwhile, where is my foot spa, my feet are killing me.

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Travel Theme: Flowers

I’ve posted a lot of flower photos this weekend and in general on Lucid Gypsy so I’m going to restrain myself and just post one more for Ailsa theme.  It’s a banana flower and could be taken in many places around the world but this one is in Morocco.

 

Go visit Ailsa and all the other entries, maybe you will be inspired to join in!

Travel theme: Flowers

 

Sunday Post: Road

Jake says ‘A road is a route, or way on land between two places, which typically has been paved or otherwise improved to allow travel by some conveyance, including a horse, cart, or motor vehicle’. Visit him over at http://jakesprinters.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/sunday-post-road/ for this weeks Sunday post, check out his animation and join in with the challenge. Here is my entry, Chinatown in Kuala Lumpur. 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Purple

This weeks photo challenge has purple as its theme. Purple is my favourite colour and i wear it all winter. In spring and summer I enjoy purple flowers and keep trying to take the perfect purple flower photo, maybe one day I’ll get there. Meanwhile here are a few for you, so you recognise them all?If you would like to join in and to see some other entries http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/weekly-photo-challenge-purple/ is the place to visit.

Friday Fictioneers

Madison has posted a challenging photo prompt this week and this is my contribution. If you would like to visit her to read the other entries go to http://madison-woods.com/photo-prompt-for-the-fridayfictioneers-5/

Running Water

‘There you go my dear, now all you have to do is turn on the tap and you can have running water whenever you want.’

‘Turn it on whenever I want? That’s lovely.’

‘Now how do you manage about baths? You’d qualify for a council grant at your age.’

‘Oh I just fill the copper up in July, that’s my birthday I’ll be ninety two you know, and it doesn’t take long to fill my hip bath. Now lad I’m going down the garden to get some water from the well, so I’ll show you out at the same time.’

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups Week# 51

We have one hundred words plus these  four the line was drawn … for Julia’s challenge over at http://jfb57.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week51/ why not give it a go? The prompt is announced every Monday. Here is my attempt for the week, it seems to have turned into one of those poemy things.

Demarcation

Between those that have

and those that have not

between those that can

 and those that cannot

winners and losers

the line was drawn.

Between day and night

earth and sky

desert and ocean

between dark and light

the line was drawn.

Between leisured or laboured

able or challenged

 between freedom and imprisonment

the line was drawn.

Between childhood and cronedom

innocence and guilt

lost and found

joy and sorrow

between crowd or solitude

the line was drawn.

Between having a voice

 or condemned to silence

between discord and harmony

pleasure and pain

between ignorance and knowledge

the line was drawn.

Travel Theme: Tradition

Ailsa has chosen tradition as her theme for this weeks challenge. My home town is travel for virtually all of you right? So today has been the perfect summer day and I was sure that Exeter would provide a solution. Sure enough the annual craft fair was taking place on the cathedral green with Exeter Morris Men dancing up a storm. I believe that Morris dancing has spread around the world but for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a form of folk dance that has been around for centuries. The dancers wear bells on their legs, wave white handkerchiefs and have big sticks. Exeter Morris have several musicians, accordions and drums.

To visit Ailsa and to see lots of other interpretations of the theme, http://wheresmybackpack.com/2012/07/20/travel-theme-tradition/

 

Friday Fictioneers: Grapevine

I’ve missed Madison’s 100 word Friday photo prompt                                      http://madison-woods.com/2012/07/18/ for a couple of weeks but this time I’ve made it. This maybe a little dark, so I’m sorry, I don’t wish to offend. The photo seems innocent enough, but look closely, see how the tendrils can wrap around and strangle.

grapevine

Riesling

The vine, its naked now, stripped of its treasures, its small Riesling bullets. The master likes to watch while we crush them in the old way; it’s his tradition to make something special for himself. And as he watches, he finishes last year’s reserve.

It started off well, he was in good humour, but as always, it turned to bad. I thought I would die last night; drown on crushed grapes, I prayed to the Lord to take me. Grapes filled my nose, ears, eyes and mouth, while he filled me.

He doesn’t know where I emptied his night water today.